Living life in the fast lane

In today’s glamorous jet set life, everyone seems to be doing their best to squeeze everything they can into the space of a single day….It’s crammed so full that sometimes there’s not enough place to breathe…Every part of me that can be traced back to my sussegad Goan roots feels violated ….i just want to be by myself ….maybe doing nothing at all but feeling at peace with myself and the universe around me and maybe occasionally ponder on some of the mysteries out there…..however this is all but a distant possibility , so distant that I think a star would be closer. There’s always something that I need to be doing, or that I should have done that constantly haunts me...leaving behind traces of guilt , that like Lady Macbeth , I can’t seem to erase.Even if by some miracle, there’s no guilt ( this is a very rare phenomenon ) looking at everyone bustling around like ants or bees ,whichever are busier….is more than enough to give poor lil me a complex…somehow my days don’t seem fulfilled unless I have that certain sense of accomplishment that comes from having achieved all that I have planned for the day….I guess we’re all so busy trying to create this picture perfect life that sometimes we have no time to actually live it…sometimes we could choose to relax at home instead of going to that party we feel obligated to attend…we could take time out to go to the beach….alone in the early hours of dawn ….and let the glory of a sunrise wash over us …and listen to our hearts beating within us against the background of the musical waves….More than anything else I think it’s important to do some soul searching every now and then…go on a little journey to rediscover parts of ourselves we’ve forgotten…to get to know the people we’re becoming over time ,to love the person we are right now , at this very minute…to see how very special we are….In the midst of my humdrum existence where more often than not I found myself unhappy, I met a very wise person who told me to replace all the have to’s , should’s, would’s, did not’s with a simple could ….my path of could’s has only just begun…I still slip into my old ways now and then …..but I was simply amazed at the amount of pressure that was lifted off my shoulders …I feel so much lighter when I do take the time out to implement ‘could ’ in my life….I’ve realized that I don’t have to be perfect all the time but trying is more important than anything else and giving up doesn’t solve any problems…just makes me feel weakerEvery day is a new fairytale…there are new princes to meet, more dragons to slay and enchanting castles to discover.But first we have to take some time to know ourselves …both strengths and weaknesses to fight the battle successfully .We have to remember that winning isn’t everything but it feels good. Losing is more important than winning because it teaches us how to win and last of all we should take our time to do the things we want to and be happy

To Love or not to

Can't really figure out which is more scary. When you love, you risk getting hurt cuz you're investing feelings and emotions in another person. You begin to expect.... and with expectation comes disappointment cuz no one is perfect.Love is something we have to work at. It does not come easy...like all the best things in life. We've been brought up on illusions of love, a romantic fairytailish description..where everything ends happily ever after...The truth is there is no happily ever after. There will always be hiccups in everything that we do simply cuz we're not perfect. In spite of this we expect a love that's perfect without blemish...come on ...that can only be in the soppy romance movies....And oh yeah...when it gets too difficult, we can just bail out...run away before it gets too messy, before we're too entangled, before we really begin to care, before we're actually asked to make some compromises....worse still before we feel ourselves wanting to make em.Commitment is something that scares us so bad...but I've always wondered whether we're scared of giving that person a chance or whether we're scared of losing something that we don't even have yet...On the other end of the spectrum, if we choose not to love at all becuz we are too scared, we run the risk of being alone which is everyones worst nightmare...no matter how much some of us may try to deny this...it is true.We need to love, we need people to care...we need someone to lean on , someone to cherish us and to push us to be our best selves...Caught between the devil n the deep blue sea!!!!! as one of my psychology teachers used to say....

Sometimes when we touch

All through life we constantly meet new people. Some become acquaintances, some friends and yet others, those special someones....people we know we'd like to know better, and spend time with ...and thats the very beginning of a love story..So many movies are made bout the beginnings of love stories but so few bout the end...can't say none anymore cuz of " the break up ". When I first saw it, I thought ,"How depressing ! ". But tis a brilliant movie cuz it gets you to feel exactly what the two people ending the relationship feel. A lil frustration cuz realization dawns too late sometimes...and then practically nothin can be done to salvage whats remaining. People can only be stretched so much and then when they reach breaking point, they tend to call it quits..How fickle can our hearts be?? Playing tricks on us causin us to falll in n out of love, causin us pain we don't really wish to feel and not content with jus that, inflictin pain on other peoples' hearts too...Was this really part of the master plan or is it the part we've tried to modify and messed up royally by not having the patience...I guess all the answers lie somewhere within us but right now I'm just too lazy to begin the search!!!

Tribes

Last week , in CCM ( to the uninitiated, cross cultural management), Father showed us this video by Seth Odin about Tribes and it described man as a very tribe oriented creature and that really got me thinking of the different applications of the tribe culture. If we hype anything, and i mean literally anything upto a cult level, there will always be takers, right from tweens to adults. Its all about tapping into the few people who actually start trends and are bold enough to take that first step. Starting with them, we can then create circles of influence and before you know it, you have a trend with mass appeal. However the real challenge lies not in creating the buzz, though that it difficult but in continously innovating to the level of the influencers, because their psyche demands cutting edge newness every time and their attention spans seem rather short especially among tweens which is where all brands should begin their initiation processes...So in a nutshell, besides our usual marketing gyaan by kotler and all the other greats, tribes could really hold the key to building great brands.

Mossy Curtains Call

Lamplight fries
The buzzing flies
mossy curtain call
A clumsy oaf , I fall
Gazillions deep, those bown pools
Damn it, A fool of fools
Rescued just in the nick of time
Bound by bits of twine
The starlight throbs
Back to the incessant mobs
On the promenade

Masked Masquerades

Today I saw
Watched and really saw
How many different faces
converted meaningless existence
into forbidden joy
But is that happiness real?
I sit alone
lost in thought
And wonder....
How much is real
And how much playactin?
Just for Fun
we barter secrets
selling our souls
To those we barely know
Cautiously at first
Reserve fast flees
Leaving boldness in her wake
We chance it
Open our hearts
Please read the sign
carefully
Once broken
T'will be hard to mend

What Comes Tomorrow?

Two murky pools
Gaze at me
Proffessing love
But confusion lurks
Muddying water
that should have been
Crystal clear

Should I?
Should I not?
Allow myself
To believe again
In a brand new story
Only to see myself
Cast in a re-run
of yesterday...

You cannot tell
Neither can I
Whether this is a beginning
or just only
A beginning of the end
Should we
Let time play it hand???

Prejudice

The words
are as clear as black on white
But that's only inside
No one can see them
Once they reach my mouth
The garbled sounds
make no sense
the angry bees rise up
in my throat
I spit them out
and your horror struck face
mocks me
Yeah you're a murderer
I'm dead now
It was slow and painful....
all because I was different

Tatters

Tattered and threadbare
You sit there
day after day
month in and month out

Limbs disfigured
A big gashing wound
Is this really
how you were made?

Unravelled your clothes
Unravelled your mind
And yet....
Sometimes a spark
of who you used to be

Who were you yesterday ?
Who are you today ?
Who will you be tomorrow ?
That, only you decide!

Monsters

Crusing down life's highway
Just as fast as you please
No regard for other's lives
Its just the thrill of speed.

Cativated by flying
Winging it on a dream
A thread of life was snapped
Because of the fiend.

A silent scream
Reflects the ocean of fear
Death comes slowly
All that is left is a smear.

A dying soldier

Shades of colour pass before my eyes
Right before I die
The white hot stabbing pain
Mingles with a dull red
Of violence and bloodshed

A soldier for my country
That’s what I was
Once long ago
All the killing seems
So senseless now
In these last few moments
Before HE calls

Pakistanis, Indians all seem one
As felled by the blows
of the government
they stoop down to die
biting the dust
stifling a cry
And then, Oblivion
Pain no more

As I look back
On how I charged in battle
Proud of each man I killed
I was
proud to serve my country
Proud to be an Indian
And I was here…
Possibly to make the biggest sacrifice
Of them all

Now I lie here beaten
My life’s blood draining out of me
I think of my loved ones
Think..is it really worth it?
Putting my country
Above all else
As my eyes close
And I drift towards
Eternal sleep
I cant but think
A Pakistani somewhere must
Be proud that he killed me

Twilight

i
A bird flying
On the wings of wind passes me by,
Smoothly outlining
its pattern in the sky
A moment…… and it is gone
Gone like the wind blows
A feather away- away forever
The beauty of its silhouette
In the sky never forgotten
by eager bird watchers darting
here and there
amongst the shadows

ii
On the forests green floor
Furry little friends
Scuttle around
For an odd tidbit or two
The ants are brisk in their work
Toiling and moiling
all the days of their lives
The eagle swoops down to
Capture its prey…
… A startled rabbit

iii
The dark night
Is full of them…
These owls
With huge yellow eyes
Which are quick to take in
The scampering mice
Who run hither- thither
All have now drifted into
the kingdom of sleep
It reigns over all ,
Both man and beast

iv
The trees are
whispering in the wind
telling secrets
of which no one knows
they chatter on and on
their leafy whisperings disturbing
the quiet of the night